By: A.B. Timothy
Allow me to write for you, two scenes. I want you to tell me which you enjoy more.
Scene 1
The crisp late-summer, early-autumn breeze brushed across the elf’s nose as she crouched in the fields of grain. The forest had been left behind, but the waving limbs of timber beckoned her back into their kind embrace. She couldn’t return, now that the sea of amber grain enveloped her hunt. She had jumped from the protection and comfort of the woods to the danger and anxiety of the grain. These fields were unnatural, human, but her prey had fled into them, so she had to pursue it.
Scene 2
The elven hunter felt a breeze blow the hair out of her face as she crouched in the grain field. Her hunt had brought her out of the safety of the forest and into the danger of the grain. She would have done all she could to stay in the woods, but this is where her prey was; thus, it was where she must be.
What did you think?
Both scenes convey the same story, right? An elven hunter leaves the comfort of the woods for the danger of the grain fields, so that she might pursue her prey. But one is more vivid, true? But which do you prefer? Do you prefer the vivid world of the first? Or do you like the more concise detail-less rendition of the second, which lets you fill in the details for yourself?
Description, like many things in life, is not black and white. While I have only provided two choices here, there are many potential ways to write this moment, this snapshot into the life of this fantastical huntress. Description is really a spectrum; sometimes you will need more detail than example #2, but less than #1, or less than 1 but more than 2 (which may sound like the same thing, but I promise you it is not).
There is no right answer; that is true, it is all about preference and situation. As an author, I prefer and would write the first scene where allowed, but if I am working within a word limit, such as a short story competition, I might go for the second scene, allowing the readers to do more of the heavy lifting for me.
You have to understand pacing to really understand which one would work in your work. If you have the time (word count) go for more detail. If you are working in a genre or age group that has less longevity to their attention spans, you might go for less detail.
Conclusion
Tell me, which scene spoke to you more, which rendition kept you engaged, or which one made you want to read on? Let’s talk about pacing and the Spectrum of Description in the comments below this post or over on my X @ABTimothyAuthor.
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